Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
