i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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