maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
