With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
They have beer where we have blood.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
