no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
