I have demons in me.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
is it fun? or sober?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
