At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
