got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
