so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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