You're my little dorito
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
