I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
