i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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