pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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