I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
