im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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