I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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