I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Randomize
