sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
