No more Irish car bombs ever.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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