I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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