Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
