i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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