Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
