come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
