I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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