Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
