She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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