Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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