The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
