i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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