i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
