walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
