Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Holy sore nipples Batman
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
