Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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