I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
COCAINE IS GR8
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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