when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
lol hangovers are for mortals.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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