Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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