I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
