Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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