I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Randomize
