I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
