maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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