I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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