I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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