Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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