kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
