just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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