Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
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