when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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