I bet he comes in French.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
