after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
