How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
